my friends

tetiba ku rasa kecik aty aie...

aku if dah berkawan...asa xmok jak kawan ku ignore ku..apa gk if ku dah anggap kawan ya kdak family ku juak.

tapi ya la tek...dah namanya manusia...kita xpat predict pun apa perangai and sikap daknya..

baik ni pun kawan kita,if dah namanya kita tox bukan BFF daknya,daknya xkan baik ngn kita.

why ho?aku sik pernah menganggap semua ya sebagai perbezaan yang ketara.

once ku dah berkawan..sukar ku pat lupakan kawan ya...

tapi apa hak ku?mok anok or halang orang sak pat berkawan ngan aku..

just aku terkilan eyh..kenak if susah semua orang carik aku?

if dah senang,,,terus ku dilupakan..

sedih juak asa aty ku..apa gk kawan ya adalah yang terbaik untukku..

huhhuhhhhu :')

huh...ya lar adat berkawan..if senag,semua dilupakan..

tapi ku bersyukur juak..aku bukan kawan pya..

entahlah kenak..ku ndang sik kempang molah orang pya...

bcoz ku taok..kita manusia xakan lari daripada masalah..

bila aku apat masalah lak,,,sapa gk ku mok carik if bukan kawan nak?

ndang baik gilak kah ku tox?

ntah la..ku xpat menilai drik mpun...

biarlah ku jak taok sapa aku sebenar...

if ada problem...smua orang cari aku..

if dah settle?msej pun sik pernah..

haiiya....xtaok gney gk mok handle kawan camtox..

if aku ignore daknya,lak aku dijaik daknya..

bak kata mak ku..serba salah jadi orang... yups!

just cgek jak ku mok madah...mun kita dah berkawan..berkawan baik2 k?

kita tox kat dunia tox adalah untuk saling mengasihi and berakwan..

tapi nda?aku slalu kena problem camya eyh..

bila perlu..aku diagak daknya..bila sik?huh...

tapi ku sabar jak la...ya jak pat ku polah kinek..

sabar n trus sabar..

kawan yang ku anggap kawan slalu daknya anggap ku lawan ! :(

susah eyh..ku oun sik taok kenak..

ntahla..malas dah ku fikir eyh..

biarlah orang maok madah apa..

aku sik maok gago gk bha..

ku ada family yang sayang aku..ya jak lar..

kawan tox susah gilak mun diikiut juak kemahuan daknya..

biarlah..ku dah kdak apa jak dipolah daknya camtox eyh.

slalu daknya ambik kesempatan ke atas aku eyh..

nangga ku slalu spon orang....omg!

ndang apalar ku tox,,,kali daknya mikey ku bank..

biar jak la..

ndang upa ku sik pandai balas benda jaik.

if dlok?huh!

if lar daknya kawan ku dlok..ndang habis dak nya dipolah ku pya juak..

syukur juak..coz ku dah berubah..

ku sik maok lalek..biarlah daknya happy molah ku camtox..

poor me nak?hahaha...

sik da orang faham ku...

biarlah...ku happy wak camtox...

at least ada wak kawan ku sik camya....huhuwwmmm.. :)

huh! ndang mena eyh..the trouble is a friend! :)

facebook

aok!ku deaktif FB ku..kepak ku ngga fb kinek..

angol palak..mala jak ngga post nyakit hati..sik tahan ku bha..

aku manusia biasa..sik kan mok nggga post yang  saling menyindir...

apa gk ttba ada orang post sal ku..for what?ku sik la benci..

tapi ku geram...jangan main sindir2 bha...cowards li juak..

setiap hari ku buka FB,ada jak orang klaie sesama drik..

aiyoo...please  be matured bha...kita tox bukan mbiak kecik gk bha..

sik perlu mok beranok sampai pya skali k?

mun asa sik puas hati,padah jak..

tok sik......sampai cgek dunia taok kita klaie..malu jak eyh..

FB dipolah bukan pakei taq owg klaie bha...sindir2,block2..

haiz!angol eyh...orang sik ..ada kaitan pun kena tempias disindir taq owg ya..

apa gk kes ku ya..sampai cgek skolah n negeri taok..

aku sik pandai maok klaie bha..please k?

boh soh ku fed up bha !

knk perlu main sindir?

aku taok ku sik brani kdak taq owg..banyak geng n smuanya,,

p at least,bukan ku dolok cari klaie nak?

please k?...

oh ya..taq owg nak klaie ya,boh mbak nama ku please? :)

ku sayang kawan ku bha..ya ku malas mok beranok and semuanya..

ku mengaku..dolok ku jaik n maybe suka palat ngan kawan.

tapi ya dolok bha..ya ku sik suka ngga taq owg pandai klaie indah..

saling memaafkan adalah pekerjaan yang paling bagus.

sapa2 sik rugi..

bagus gk kita berkawan..daripada harus klaie sesama drik..please k :)

so...bagi ku..bagus gik sik ada FB..tenang jiwa ku dowh..

sik ada nyuruh sakit aty..even ku taok gk ada kes taq owg sindir2 ya,,,

p at least ku sik baca...

nyaman gk ku sik taok hal :)

rindok aty ku sik ada FB..

hidup tenang...and ku sik gago mok buka laptop...

aku just relax jak kinek..sik kdak dlok..

mala jak mok buka FB :)

kali juak ku sik akan buka FB...kepak taok x...

so....I LOVE YOU FRIENDS...

mun ada apa2,just text ku jak la :)

lamak dah sik update blog

last time i update blog,im talk about my problem that heartbreaker..

wkaakka..sik ada gk dah..ku dah return with nya bha..n ku shayunk nya glak...

tapi ku syukur gilak with kehidupan ku kinek,,my friends invite me to join house group..for sharing :)

and ku suka gilak eyh2..ku dapat blajar tentang firman and saling mengasihi..

ku suka nda with daknya..terlalu memahami ..love u all guys!

last nite also..ku banyak gilak dengar tentang kesaksiaan dak sis and kawan..

praise a lord...

ndang kinek tox ku asa syukur gilak eyh! :)

coz ku dah pandai kawal perasaan marah and semuanya..

ku saling mncintai dan mengasihi sesama insan..

mun ku dlok? huh! ku jaik glak bha..

over sosial ! :)

p gud then..now ku dah pandai kawal smuanya...

smuanya berkat tuhan...amen :)

and paling ku suka,ku sik maok gk klaie2..ku start sayang enemies ku...

sayang family and smuanya..ku dah x panas baran..aauuww..awesome ! :)

p/s : thanks god :)

kinda blur!

ppergghh~lamak gilak ku dah sik update blog...mentang2 dah happy tek nak..ahhakx!

btw,aku blur dowh...plus boring gk!ahaahkx!

actually,i'm kinda sad bha...

aku ada seorang kawan..namanya muthu..lalala~haha..alu blagu indah ku tox! :)

aku kenal nya through FB..time ku fk frust dolok..

ku sayang nya gilak2..criuz eyh!she shine my life ....

setiap hari aku hepi if nya call and text ku...

tapi nda,after ku return with gerek ku and nya pun maybe wak return..

nya alu lupak ku eyh..ntah la.. :(

ku taok ku xda crdit mok tex nya,p atleast nya call ku,,bukan lamaktox nya mala jak call ku kha?haiz! 

dah hampir 1 minggu nya dah henti text and call...

tapi xhal lar...ya hak nya bha..ku xpat larang nya dari sik berkawan with ku..ku sik paksa bha..

just ku sik suka persahabatan ku nganya terjejas...

maka meq 2 dah berjanji dolok bha...even dah ada gerek,kmk 2 tetap gk kontek and keep in touch :)

tapi bagi aku,ko lah kawan terbaik..ko faham sikap aku even just kejap jak berkawan..

you are nice person for me...

if meq sedih and got problem..ko jak sudi dengar..

ku mena sayang kau eyh..

hope ko happy jak pastox k?

aku tetap kawan ko sampai bila2..

maybe salah kmk wak terlalu ego..

p..kenyatannya,,aku sik pya..ku sayang ko bha...

ko baik gilak with ku eyh..bait gilak2...

i love you kawan.k bye :)

finally

i call he last night..and maybe that is the last both of us comunicate...for what right?if we cant return back..

better i move on...life must moving foward. . .not backward!

whole night my tears fall down when talking with him..

i love him damn much!so its not easy for me to forget him. . .

but after last night..i think i can stand without him...

i must let him go....if i love him...

so. . .maybe i must forget he from now on...

if i still stay and love him...this can make me and him suffer..

so i make a good decision...by leave him..sorry hubbie..

i must do all of this...i wont disturb you anymore..

i know..everything that i do,all of that just make you cant stop thinking about my situation..

so,i must let you go..i must!

even im hurt,but at least i already do my best to make you happy and free..

i know..now you are the leader..

you must take note with everything that you and your family do..

you must buy everything that your family need..

i understand..

so,,,let us make it over. . .

i love you so i must make you happy by leave you..

please. . .do take care k?

i'm always supporting you. . .even we are not together anymore..

sorry make you cry last night...

i'm speechless now. . .

k..i love you hubbie. . . 

i wont forget everything that we had done before...

i wont!!!!!!!

last night..you already make me cry..

your last message(i luv u b..mwaahhh my yoko)

thanks syg...even i'm hurt..

but at least i already know the true ..

that you still loving me..

thanks for everything..

give me time to forget you k?

i promise!!!!!

-------------> THE END<---------------

question mark ?????????

last night...i text that stranger again..and i write..i want to call her...

but im stupid!i faster write message again and says sorry because i ever mean to meant that i want to call him..

but what?guess what? He ask me to call him.... but i'm wonder..why my heart is not like normally?

i mean..i just call him without any sense of love..nyah! this i want right?

gooodd!!!i feel good ! :)

i told him..that i had suddenly cry on wednesday..and he told me...I'm accident!

oh my godness...i already can feel and predict that something bad happen on him..yah!i'm right ! :)

see...how strong my instinct ;)

then...i ask him and hope he will answer and give me a good answer..

i story everthing that i felt when he leave me..

and seriously...i miss him voice....

and he told me...just wait until tomorrow..and i will give you the answer..

but i wont!i force him to tell me..but he force me to wait..coz he feeling unwell..poor him :(

OK!i wait ~

and now...im still waiting for the answer...hope this suffer end soon..

i need answer...even it will broke my heart..but its ok..i accept now! :) 

after this...i will write what he tell me later..coz i'm still waiting him to text me....

to be continue..........................

he text me..!

last night,he text me again...

maybe im stupid coz reply like this "can you stop texting me?i want forget you" !

wwhooaaa...sound like stupid right?yes i am!

but everything ok after that...

but his word hurting me...seriously !im fuckin hate his word eyh!

he ask me to be patient until he done prepare anything..

wondering!he prepare what?confius dowh!

in relationship must prepare money erk?no right..i just need love to make my life complete . :)

but as u wish..i will waiting for your love..haiseh!bongok la u julie ! :)

but i like it! stupid like me goin crazy !yeezaaaa...like i care?

furthemore,seriously i hate to falling in love again..

even you wont love me back..but im gay with my lifestyle now

everything going easy...

my life is become easier :)

i ever hope you come back to me..

i just want you still love me like the first time we in love..

i love you so much...ahhaakkx = ="

i hate you but i love you...apakha!ahhahah ;)

my ex....many boy flirt over me !eeeeeeeee

ngai saya...saya suka kamu saja...ok? :P

tears fall down

suddenly. . . when i wake up just now, im crying!damn eyh..

omg..until when i must stop from this suffer?im such already give up eyh....please end this suffer immedieatly!

still wondering actually..why you leave me without any reason,,

coz i noe..deeply in your heart..u love me...even ur pretending and said that you did not have any sense to be with me anymore. . . but my heart says NO!

we had been through all this pain together sayang...hards and impossible for me to make it not disappear from my mind !

if i wake up early in the morning. . .the first thing that i think is YOU!

i just want to call you to make sure that you already wake up and ready to working..

i miss that moment hubbie. . .FORGET you is hard thing that i must do right now

even i can get you out of mind..but i wont forget everything bout you. . .

your smile make me comfortable..

your hug make me wanna stay with you and want to stop the time .so that,i will not separate from you ! :)

so sweet hubbie. . . when you hold my hand and you promise that you will not leave me.

just god can separate us. . .

i miss you eyes. . that always sincerely to show me that your love is forever .not for a while !

i miss the moment when we play futsal outside your house. . .you make me happy and enjoy ! :)

if you touch me,i want your hand just stay on my face. . .

your hand,hug,kiss and smile make me melt and comfortable..

so how? you force me to forget you? 

sorry..i wont ! coz im happy now. even you dont want me back..

i miss that moment. ..when you send for me burger every wednesday after tuisyen...

then you spend a minute to talk with me and kiss my hands . . .

then,if  i cry and need CHOCOLATE and LOLIPOP ,you will send it then. . .

if i sick and need medicine, , ,you are the one that worry and send it for me. . .

your worries make me concern. . .thank you for everything. . .

you already colour my life. . .and bright my life before

you teach me.how to be a good girl,matured and caring. . .

you make me learn everything good..

you is the one that can change me..

i still remember. . . 

I'm YOKO and you is JOHN LEMMON

how sweet it eyh..

romatic....

you said that,you will love yoko like john lemmon love yoko

coz they two are true lover for you :)

you play guitar and play song for me...how sweet eyh

but now?everything is over. . .

all of that is just a dream...

like a glass that broken

same as me

you just my past and will not come again..

hubbie,im always think bout you ..

dream of you

and sometimes,i force myself to not wake up if i dream of you..

you is my imagination...and i will keep it..

i'm happy even only in my dream..

hopefully one day..you will ready everthing that i had post here.

so that you can feel...how deep my love to you..

i love and miss you always... :)

home alone

omg!once gain my mama leave me alone here..while her enjoy and shopping ! :)

but its ok...poor my mama bha...

just let her go and enjoy..ahaha

and  for couple of week. ..i change my position  from daughter to MOTHER and MAID!hahaaha :D

damn bore eyh...nobody talking and sharing with me problem...

but..give me some present later k mama?ahhahha

k la...im blur right now..donno what im talking about actually..ahahaahh

getting bore

of coz la!why not?

if always stay here without do anything fun...but im gay for sure :)

i only have a few friends here..not closer..

so,i ever hang out and have fun with my friends..

thats why im always spend my time to go to sri aman...

at least can give me some relax and free...

so what should i do?

my blog also getting bore maybe..

of coz la..i got no idea to update this what! :)..

but i will not stop to update this..

coz my blog is my buddy

and i must take care of this blog ya :)

btw,february is past..

and now?march is coming! :)

just wait for my lucky for this new months :)

wish that this march will give me a new life and joy

i need it! :)

coz february is my bad months! :(

and now..i want forget everything that happen on last months..

make me sick,suffer and dying! 

so...start from this months...no couple, so no fighting and crying! aminnn :)

ways to forget someone that we love :)

So now what? Are you going to sit and cry for the rest of your life or do you intend to do something? Was that ending your fault or are you not the one to blame? Is there something you can do to fix it? Is there something you should stop and think about so you can act in a better way the next time 'round? Is mending a broken heart even possible? Of course it is! With this relationship advice, getting over a break up is possible. There are many things you can do to heal a broken heart! And the best thing is: It all depends on you! Here's how to forget someone in 8 steps.

Step 1

Cry out everything you have to cry about! When we get hurt, it's normal (and good) to cry. Don't ever think you're being weak for crying and don't feel embarrassed because of it! It's normal and it's good! When you cry, you let go of part of your anger and hurt so you can feel less heavy. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music...but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain! Just let her go!

Step 2

Get busy! When you're trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it. In other words...get busy! It doesn't matter how, you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, watch a play, travel. It doesn't matter what are you going to do--the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy, it doesn't have time or space to think about the person you're trying to forget.

Step 3

Spend some time with your friends. Friends are always great to have in this kind of situation! Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted very easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you're way more important than you think! The only warning is: Ask them not to talk about the person you're trying to forget. If they start bringing the topic up in every conversation, you won't be able to forget, and instead of making you laugh, they're going to make you cry. So be honest and ask them not to talk about it!

Step 4

Avoid the person! Try not to go to places you know you can meet that person. When you're trying to forget someone and you two keep seeing each other, it gets hard to get over it. If you meet him/her somewhere, just be nice and kind, but find an excuse to go away as fast as you can! If you work or study with him/her and you can't avoid seeing him/her, just try not to look and not to talk too much. Just be gentle and keep busy all the time so you won't have excuses to look at him/her or to chat.

Step 5

Go out and see some different faces! Being at home gives you more time to think about it, which makes the process even more difficult. So even if you're not feeling excited or you're in a bad mood, just put on your best clothes, best shoes, best smile, call some friends and go somewhere nice where you can dance, drink, listen to some music. And the most important: See some different faces! When you go out, you notice that the person you're trying to forget is not the only one who's got a perfect smile and an amazing voice...thank god, there are other interesting people around the world, too!

Step 6

Avoid every kind of romantic thing! If you're trying to forget someone, you'd better not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs...it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you're trying to get rid of. It doesn't matter if it's a song you love or if it's playing on the radio...just change the station or do something else! Put on some happy songs, dancing songs, watch some comedies, terror movies, whatever...you just need to avoid the romantic things for now!

Step 7

Take good care of yourself. Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they're hurt. If we break up our perfect relationship, then we have no reason to get our nails done anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way, the only thing we do is to become less attractive and lessen our self-confidence. So if you're hurt, just try to use your pain for yourself instead of against you. Go to the gym, work out a lot, get your nails and hair done...do whatever you can so you can feel more pretty and confident!

Step 8

Accept the process! You can be really strong and it's still going to hurt. The process takes time and you have to accept that! You can't hope to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years...and you can't pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it's not easy and it's going to take some time. When you're patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier...

Well, of course, forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But there are some things that make the process a lot smoother. As I said, it takes time and it's hard but I'm sure you can do it! The only thing that is really, really important is: It all depends on you! Don' ever forget that! If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt! Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be really strong...you will be! In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for! So believe that. Believe that, take a deep breath and move on! Your life's waiting for you, baby!

thinking,thinking and thinking

who will married me?

who are my husband?

which university that i must choose?

my job?

apoooooo....all of this make me sick eyh!

ahhahha...btw, I LIKE IT!

why not?coz al of this can make me to become more matured..

hahahaha.later my face getting more old from my real age..hooho..

adowh!blur sudah..

oh ya...i have story..

but horror lor..hohox..

oopsss...better i keep on silent..later make me feel wonder about what i had face last night...

...

about love?just forget it..ahahahahha..

saya happy sudah tak ada kapel...

jangan kacau saya

jangan flirt saya...

ahhahahhahhahhahah

i like my lifestyle :)

upset :')

every night,im always dream of you!

so how i can forget you i ask?

but nevermind..at least my love already fade 

coz i believe...god help me and time heal everything.

let i stop talking about you okaw?

even now,im disappear ,believe on me..i wont forget you..

YOU is my pass :)

because of you im more matured:)

once a gain..thanks coz leave me :)

from now on,please stop texting me k?

i strong enough to through out of this pain

now,let us take a good ways by forget each others..hahahha!

btw,im gay now !so happy !

rest in peace

today,genap 9 years my papa leave us...i miss him damn much!

he is my hero for me. . . 

papa,you name will never be replace in our family.. 

u make me more matured even you just teach me a bit about life..

but thanks papa. . . u teach me since i baby till primary 5..

you disappear when i need you papa..

but thanks too god..now,i born to make you happy...

i will pay everything that i owe you and mama :)

pa,i still remember your words that hoping me and nelly to enter university and become a great person.

and now,everything will become a real..

i know,you are happy papa :)

i will not make you and mama disspointed with me . . .

may god bless you.. and rest in peace papa . . .

miss invisible :')

here's a girl

Who sits under the bleachers

Just another day eating alone

And though she smiles

There is something just hiding

And she cant find a way to relate

She just goes unnoticed

As the crowd passes by

And she'll pretend to be busy

When inside she just wants to cry

She'll say...

[Chorus]

Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible

Look a little harder, I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes

Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible

Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day

When you'll ask her her name

The beginning, in the first weeks of class

She did everything to try and fit in

But the others they couldn't seem to get past all the things that mismatched on the surface

And she would close her eyes when they left and as she fell down the stairs

And the more that they joked

And the more that they screamed

She retreated to where she is now

And she'll sing...

[Chorus]

Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible

Look a little harder I really, really want you to put yourself in her shoes, yeah, yeah 

Take a little look at the face of Miss Always Invisible

Look a little closer and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day that 

you will ask her name

Then one day, just the same as the last

Just, the days been in counting the time

Came a boy, that sat under the bleachers just a little bit further behind...

(THIS IS WHAT I FEEL NOW...NOBODY KNOW THAT I'M HURTING ACCEPT ME AND MY BESTIES

BECAUSE MY LOVE FOR HIM IS SO DEEPLY

HOPE HE CAN FEEL IT ONE DAY :) )

messy girl !

everyday...my friend teach me to more matured..forget the past..build the new and open the new chapter of  my life...yup :)  I WILL ! :)

for what right?if we everyday just crying and sad coz of love !

and just hoping for empty answer...

seems like..i got question but no answer..so tired of being confused!

i need a wings!

so i can fly as far as i can fly...

i'm tired just being like this..

i need freedom..so i can feel happiness.

without sadness  in my life. . . i want a bit happiness and love like others,,

please dont messy on me?ahhah

nya ya...jadilah saya messy girl!ahahhaha

but nevermind...because i know...one day..i will grab what i already lost before

I'M SURE ! MARK IT ! :)

SO..its time for me to change my life...i must! :)

cheers julie :)

 i need my angel :)

i want fly as a angel...free!!!! :)